Grades are officially in and report cards will be sent out later this week. Parent-teacher conferences are on Monday. Which means, that I'm going to have a ton of upset parents at my door. I hate days like these...it's like these parents can't understand that the reason why their kids have such poor grades is because they don't do their work...not because of me or how I teach. It's so hard to be patient and calm, when all I feel like doing is yelling and bursting into tears. Ey ey iy.... My days go back and forth between good and bad. Some periods are amazing where the kids are discussing, are being calm, and are focused. Other periods, it's pure chaos. Today, my last period (which, I have them for my last period three days out of the week, including Friday), was out of control and I made them put their heads down for a few minutes. I told them that they were at the age where I could expect more out of them. Where they should be acting older than 2nd graders.
I hope I am getting through to some of them. I have been surprised at a few kids who have shown their talent in certain areas. For example, one of my 9th grade boys who hangs out with some of the rowdy kids, is actually a pretty good writer. He also knows what he's talking about when he answers questions in class and tries to pay attention. I try to write comments on his papers about how well he writes and how I appreciate him paying attention in class. There are also a few girls that really have a lot of potential in writing, and I try to encourage them as much as possible.
There is one boy, who I have had a few problems with, and who disrupts a lot of other classes. He and I had a falling out when he was fresh with me, but since then, has calmed down some, although he still disrupts the class. He did pay me a compliment yesterday, and said he appreciated that when I give him a punishment, I tell him what it is for. I was kind of astonished, since I believe that that is the only way people learn; by knowing what they did wrong so they can change it. However, I think that also showed him that I respect him enough to tell him his mistakes. Today, after class, I had to pull him aside and reprimand him on his behavior. I said that he is intelligent and he is capable of anything. However, he needs to learn to focus and be in control of his actions. I am hoping that somehow I can get through to him. He is very bright and, when focused, can produce good work. However, it is getting to that level that is difficult and challenging.
It becomes difficult constantly giving of myself to not reap any rewards in the end. I guess such is the life of a teacher...give 110%, receive 50%. Even from the parents, it is difficult. I know there are always those parents that believe that their child never does anything wrong, and it's all the teacher's fault. Well, just once, would I like to meet a parent who is active in their child's learning. Who is actually home and involved in the child's life. I understand that it can be difficult with both parents working, but when a child is left on their own most of the time after school with only a housekeeper to look after them, then there's something that is totally wrong. Maybe I shouldn't compare these kids' lives with my family or other families I know, but it's hard to see why parents don't want to be involved with their kids. Why parents would rather their child be raised by a cholito (a native Bolivian woman). No wonder these kids have the difficulties they do in school and in relationships; they have no role model in the home to show them how to be a human being.
Ok, enough ranting for now. Back to the grind of tutoring, work, and sleep! It's hard to believe that I only have 2 more months until the end of the semester....it's going so fast, yet not fast enough. While I am enjoying my time here, I can't wait to go home. Yes, I do mean little pokey Johnstown. However, it's where my family and friends are.
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